Some battles are over before they begin. Take, for instance, disgraced former Donald Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani, who took time out from continuing to spread disinformation about the 2020 election this week to pivot to another conservative golden oldie: taking a knee.
Giuliani — who spent the week flip-flopping about cooperating with the Jan. 6 investigative committee — lashed out at Eminem for taking a knee during the Feb. 13 Super Bowl Halftime Show, telling 777 WABC that the Detroit legend should “go to another country” if he’s interested in free speech. Because Marshall is probably too busy to bother, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert shared what a rebuttal from Em might have sounded like in Thursday night’s (Feb. 17) cold open.
“Look, his skull’s not hairy/ Teeth fake, thrice-ly married/ The leakage on his cheekage is scary/ Probably sherry/ He’s drunk, but on the surface he looks, well, drunk/ He’s not hiding it, hope he doesn’t whip out his junk/ Like that one scene/ So obscene, he reached for peen,” a sham Shady rapped over the beat from 2002’s “Lose Yourself” as a montage of Giuliani’s greatest hits flashed by.
From the infamous shot of the once-lauded New York mayor appearing to leak oil from his head to the scene in Borat: Subsequent MovieFilm where he’s lying on a hotel bed fishing around in his pants in the presence of an actress portraying a teenager, the parade of pratfalls only seemed to fuel mock Marshall’s rage as the bit went on.
“He’s lost grasp of reality/ Whoa, is he having a stroke?/ He found ballots they’re faux,” the spoof continued, flashing images of Rudy in full drag, with a stop at adult toy store-adjacent Four Seasons Landscaping and a drive-by dig at Giuliani for marrying his cousin. (Giuliani’s first wife, Regina Peruggi, was his second cousin.)
The whole thing built to a reworked chorus in which ersatz Eminem bellowed, “You can go screw yourself/ You’re a doofus, you know it/ You bonehead, less ethical Nosferatu/ Told me he’s had one shot/ It smells more like 22/ His cerebellum’s gone into rapid decline/ Douchenozzle!”
Watch the video below.
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February 18, 2022 at 10:19PM
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Eminem Clowns Rudy Giuliani in ‘Lose Yourself’ Spoof on ‘Late Show’: ‘Screw Yourself, You’re a Doofus’ - Billboard
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